If General Motors was like Microsoft.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating - if GM
had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:

  1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

  2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

  3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull
    over to the side of the road, close all of the car windows, shut it off, restart it, and
    reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

  4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut
    down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

  5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought CarNT, but then you would
    have to buy more seats.

  6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast
    and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5% of the roads.

  7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a
    single “General Protection Fault” warning light.

  8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

  9. The airbag system would ask “are you SURE?” before deploying.

  10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let
    you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold
    of the radio antenna.

  11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps
    (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete
    this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more.
    Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

  12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over
    again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

  13. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.


    hoffentlich passiert das nicht…
    gruß,
    wanda

Uah gaehn! Der is aber mal wirklich uralt.

cu FJ

halts maul und lern mal besser!
kann ja nicht jeder den ganzen tag alles absurfen so wie du. :flushed:

also dieses Teil ist doch mindestens 2 Jahre alt oder?

trotzdem kann ich noch drüber lachen :laughing:

Genau, alt! Du doofer Panda. Das kann ja nun echt nicht angehen. Das hat schon mein Ururururururururopa in der Wüste Ghobi bei Ausgrabungen auf ner Schriftrolle gefunden und da war der Witz schon durchgestrichen. Tstststs… :smiley:


Lass dich nicht unterkriegen :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:



mAmA

Ja die Mail hab ich mal im Maerz 2000 bekommen und da war das noch nicht mal neu :smiley:

Also das hat tatsaechlich schon ganz schoen Staub gefressen.

Aber nix fuer ungut. Da kann ich auch immer wieder drueber lachen :laughing:

Beorn

Ich kenn’s nicht und habe auch jetzt keine Lust, es zu lesen, es sei denn, jemand postet mal eben eine deutsch Übersetzung.